CUIP News for December 28, 2006 ... Those who can't do, teach, report suggests; further evidence indicates those who can't teach teach teachers ... Oscar buzz engulfs "Jack Lanterns" films; "I honestly cannot explain it," anonymous star confides ... Scientists reveal the rain in Spain falls mainly on arid formerly forested areas whose timber went into the Spanish Armada centuries ago, not on the plain ... 74% of Truman education students find observation hours height of tedium, poll says; other 26% brainwashed, comatose ... Bigfoot-Yeti clash grinds to draw; rematch scheduled for July 4 ... Stolen HTML case goes cold; suspect last spotted in Barbados in November '05 ... Boredom, irrelevance at seasonal high ... This is CUIP News