CUIP News for September 27, 2004 ... Florida still exists after hurricanes, sources say ... Pithy commentary lacking in blog sidebars, study suggests ... Bush to Kerry: "Don't misunderestimate me" ... Kerry to Bush: "I will not underestimate you in any way. In fact, I believe I have accurately assessed you throughout your term as president. Such assessment is a difficult task in today's world, given the incredible amounts of-" ... BREAKING NEWS: Typist recording Kerry's remarks dies of boredom ... Squirrels declared part of the Axis of Evil ... "Blogosphere" already outdated, blogging nerds say ... Yeti qualifies for presidential debate ... Stolen HTML code carrier sighted off Highway 63 in Kirksville; hides in Wal-Mart, escapes ... Wasted Guy: Kirksville is boring ... Sober Guy: Kirksville is super-amazing ... Political Guy not available for comment due to stress-induced coma ... Source: Cheney not human ... Cheney: "F@#! yourself" ... Bush: Huh? ... Kerry says something; dead typist does not record comments ... Edwards: "I'm perfect! Hello? I'm John Edwards, Mr. Perfect! PLEASE vote for me and John - we're bestest buddies and we'll make America good again!" ... Cheney strangles Edwards, defends himself as protecting America ... Slow news days bad for tickers everywhere, group hints ... This is CUIP News