Thomas Jefferson, from "The Declaration of Independence" (July 4-16, 2004)
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
- posted by Bob @ 7:32 PM 0 comments

 
News Ticker for July 17, 2004

CUIP News for July 17, 2004 ... Martha Stewart jailed, strikes fear into other inmates ... John Kerry bruised by flying copy of One-Minute Phil ... Dubbya to world: "Fool me once...shame on...well, fool me...don't fool me" ... Reps to install filter on Cheney ... Yeti disqualified before July 4 Bigfoot-Yeti rumble due to adverse political rhetoric ... High-level GOP'ers questioned on Iraq; pols suggest Federal Marriage Amendment as solution ... Clinton to everybody: "I feel your pain" ... Dems to Clinton: "Please come back" ... Reps to Clinton: "Please die" ... Kerry denies lack of charisma, eats plain sandwich ... Future news: Rockaway Beach old people die; children trapped in one-employer casino economy with high crime rate and dwindling population ... Homosexuality causes death, new Foundation for the Family study suggests ... Cheney stabs Edwards, justifies it by saying "I felt better afterwards" ... New device may hold key to holding darkness, ill-will in Cheney's heart, conservative think-tank reports ... Battle Royal between all candidates suggested in event of November election delay ... Becker on D.C. Travelogue: "No, I really will finish it" ... This is CUIP News

- posted by Bob @ 7:28 PM 0 comments

 
Truman State University General/Graduate Catalogue, p.28 (June 26-July 4, 2004)
The University reserves the right to deny admission to applicants who have criminal convictions showing moral turpitude.
- posted by Bob @ 3:38 PM 0 comments

 
News Ticker for July 3, 2004

CUIP News for July 3, 2004 ... Candidates agree to "fight night" in event of electoral tie ... Agents carrying vital college intelligence pursued, lost ... Cubs fight curse; failure imminent, person with brain says ... Stolen HTML code carrier sighted at Fair St. Louis; agents give chase, are stopped by humidity and rain ... Bigfoot-Yeti fight scheduled for July 4 in Vegas ... Thomas Jefferson rises from grave, asks if government got much bigger; disintegrates upon reply ... Anarchists protest democracy before electing leader ... Anarchists give up after irony is pointed out to them ... Mentally-challenged man's hoard of Bars-O'-Nasty begins to rot, fester; hazardous materials team called in ... Bars-O'-Nasty have a half-life of one billion years, chemist says ... Drowsiness, apathy combine for mediocre news tickers, study finds ... Senate panel decries unnecessary length of mediocre tickers ... Probe nears Saturn, discovers giant planet is only an illusion ... Pith helmet yet unworn in public, sources say ... Uselessness pushed to new limits according to experts ... This is CUIP News

- posted by Bob @ 7:20 AM 0 comments